Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Becoming Hair Free

I have a problem these days, or rather two of them, and no idea what to do about it (or them). My problem is named Cognac and Cosmo, my wife's two identical tan and white Manx cats. Lovely things, with good dispositions, and hair. Quite a bit of hair really, and it is really quite out of hand.

In fairness, I will be the first to admit that coping with cat hair in a conventional house is merely an occasional inconvenience that keeps the clothing brushmakers in business. Our cats however cannot, according to my better half, deal with the traumas of life without constant human companionship and so they travel with us every week from the country to the city and back. And, instead of a house, we have in the city a small apartment that does not seem to be large enough for the four of us, or rather the two of them, for every bit of carpet seems to hold a few cat hairs that attach themselves to any clothing that comes in contact with it. Or simply comes into the general area.

One of the completely unexpected things about cat hair is its animal magnetism. Regular readers may recall that I wash my own socks each Sunday morning as the apparent difficulties of cold water washing on the delicate cycle are too overwhelming for the housekeeper. And though they may only come in contact with the carpet for a few seconds while I am putting on my shoes, every pair of socks comes out of the wash with a few strands of long white hair still attached. You can only imagine what this same magnetism does to my trousers, even though I never sit anywhere in the apartment while dressed and am careful to put them on while standing on a presumeably more hair free tile floor. And my jackets! How does cat hair attach itself to jackets that never come within several feet of the floor?

Once on of course, hair must be removed. I had always assumed that the answer to the odd hair or dust mote on one's clothing is a good brushing, but I can state definitively that past a certain hair density all a brush does is move the stuff around. Those sticky rollers work, but they leave a residue on the garments themselves and I won't let them near me. And so I find myself spending an inordinate mount of time picking hairs off of myself at all hours. It's really an intolerable situation.

This entire hair thing has been going on for a year now and though I am continually promised more frequent vacuuming, conditions are not improved. I have an idea that I am investigating though. A separate apartment in the same building might be just the thing. The living room would make an extravagant dressing area and converting the bedroom might finally give me enough closet space. But first I have to sniff out the attitude of the condominium board towards my walking through the halls in my dressing gown twice each day. They may be OK with it though. After all, I would be hair free.

9 comments:

Levi said...

Well put. As a pug-"owner", I completely sympathise. I, too, find myself only dressing immediately before leaving the house, and changing immediately upon arrival.

rjmanbearpig said...

This post is relevant to my interests. You mention clothes brushes and sticky rollers. Assuming you've only tried the classic bristle clothes brushes, have you tried lint brushes with a sort of velveteen surface? Those did the best job with cat hair. Otherwise perhaps commissioning special anti-static, anti-cat-hair cloth from Yorkshire may be a suitable idea!

Roger v.d. Velde said...

Quite hilarious. I feel the same pain, yet I'm not quite rich enough to get myself a second apartment.

Perhaps it's best - if one is to have cats at all - to get them in a colour that matches the majority of one's clothing. I'm thinking a mid-to-dark grey might work for me. Unfortunately my cat is orange.

Horatio said...

Ah, what we endure for love and companionship.

Have you tried a hand-held vacuum cleaner?

Donald said...

I've had cats and dogs for over twenty years, and I've never had a problem with sticky rollers--not once have I noticed any sort of residue transferring to my clothes.

You might try something like the "Schticky" (I have one), which is a silicone roller. It works well, though once you use it you have to rinse it off and dry it to use it again.

Good luck,
Don

Sean said...

I've always had cats. I never had any issue with lintrollers, but when my cat was a kitten, she would steal socks. I would come home and find a line of socks from the drawer to her water bowl, where she often deposited them. I don't know where, nor do I know how she opened the drawer (I would check before i left in the morning)

John said...

I understand taxidermists are doing very life-like work these days.... And C&C would make a lovely pair of matching bookends.

bannersbroker said...

For me having no cats at all works but my dog does not shed so that solves the issue for me.

theresa said...

Your story reminds me of the cartoon strip "Gordo" drawn by Gus Arrielo. The title character had a favorite blue serge suit that he would take out and brush for important occasion. He also had an orange tom, Poosey Gato. Poosey Gato's fur had an affinity for blue serge and the battle was never ending. In our house we have one cat and one shedding dog, a blue heeler and the battle is never ending so you have my sympathy.
Theresa in Tucson